Some of the most financially successful people I know have one big rule: “Never do business with friends or family.” Now, I get where they’re coming from, but I’ve always found that piece of advice to be a bit, well…immature. It feels like an easy way out—an unwillingness to be flexible, to change, or to truly understand someone else’s perspective.
In my experience, God didn’t create us to live in these little boxes where we only deal with people who fit neatly into our idea of what’s “safe.” Life’s messy, relationships are messy, and sometimes, business gets messy too. But that doesn’t mean we should shy away from it. “Everyone is a blessing to me. Some when they come, some when they leave, but always a blessing!” This applies to everyone, including friends and family.
You see, I challenge the conventional wisdom. I’m willing to take a chance on someone—even if they’re close to me. Why? Because I believe in people more than I believe in perfection. Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” And sometimes, it’s the people closest to us who sharpen us the most. They know our weaknesses, our strengths, and they’re the ones who’ll tell it like it is when others might not.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17
But here’s the hard reality—sometimes, people aren’t just difficult or challenging. Some are intent on doing harm. And that’s where discernment comes in. Dr. Henry Cloud offers a framework for understanding people, based on scripture. He divides people into three categories: the wise, the foolish, and the evil. The wise listen to correction, learn, and grow. The foolish may resist advice but aren’t malicious. And then there are the evil—the ones whose goal is harm. Psalm 37:12 says, “The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them.” It’s important to recognize when you’re dealing with someone whose intentions aren’t just misguided but actively harmful.
“The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them.” – Psalm 37:12
This framework has been invaluable to me as I navigate relationships, both personal and professional. While I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, I’ve also learned not to ignore the red flags. Trust, but verify. And if someone shows themselves to be intent on harm, it’s okay to set boundaries. We’re called to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” – Matthew 10:16
Of course, business with family and friends can be tricky. It’s easy to get burned if you don’t set boundaries, and trust me, I’ve learned a few lessons the hard way. But does that mean we should close off those opportunities entirely? Absolutely not. If anything, we should embrace the challenge, knowing that it will make us better leaders, better communicators, and better people.
Here’s the thing: business isn’t just about making money. It’s about growth—personal and professional. It’s about learning how to handle tough situations with grace, how to have difficult conversations, and how to approach everything with a servant’s heart. Ephesians 4:2-3 reminds us, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” That’s the foundation I want to build on—whether it’s with a friend, a family member, or a stranger.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2-3
I’ve had plenty of moments where I trusted someone close to me and things didn’t go as planned. Was it uncomfortable? Yes. Did it teach me more than any business deal with a stranger ever could? Absolutely. And that’s because trust and grace go hand in hand. Sometimes, the hardest lessons come from the people we care about the most.
I think that’s why I bristle when people say not to mix business with friends or family. It’s limiting. It’s saying, “I’d rather stay comfortable than risk learning something new.” But growth doesn’t happen in the comfort zone, does it? James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” And those trials? They often come from our relationships.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-3
I’ve found that doing business with friends and family opens doors that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. It brings a new level of trust, accountability, and collaboration that’s hard to replicate. Sure, there are risks, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. If anything, it forces me to be better, to lead with integrity, and to lean on my faith even more.
Now, does this mean we should go into every business deal blindly, just because it’s with someone we know? Definitely not. Wisdom is key. Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” I take that to mean I can trust people, but my ultimate trust is in God’s plan. He’s the one who knows how things will turn out, and as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I know I’m walking the right path.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5
I think the real fear behind “don’t do business with friends or family” is the fear of conflict. Nobody likes the idea of tension in their relationships. But I’ve learned that conflict isn’t always bad—it’s how we handle it that matters. When you approach business with a mindset of love, humility, and patience, even the hardest conversations become opportunities for growth.
So, yes—I’ll take a chance on someone close to me. Because I believe that people can grow, change, and learn. I believe that trust, grace, and a whole lot of prayer can get you through the rough patches. And at the end of the day, whether the deal works out perfectly or not, the relationship will leave a lasting impact. And that, to me, is worth far more than playing it safe.